How Americans slowburned their country to a dimwitted cinder.
written by Audy Elliott
The prevailing question over the past weekend was “How the hell was this movie number one?”. It doesn’t look like it should be number one, it doesn’t smell like it should be number one, and it has enough premise dust on it to stay into oblivion, and rot in an idiot clichéd punch- lined retirement home. Dumb & Dumber To went up against, better, tactfully more entertaining quality of films for the weekend, mercilessly prat-falling past its competition to an unjustifiable win. So again, how the hell did this movie come in number one this past weekend? Movie analysts strip down all the logistics to one vital element: Nostalgia. And my response to that is - FUCK NOSTALGIA! American moviegoing audiences have been personally killing me with their slack-jawed movie choices for quite some time, but even this is an all new low. It’s as a piss dumb flu of a movie came, leaving me afflicted with a bad case of shitty cinema-itis, and the only robitussin-like cure would be to kill myself by a western movie, high noon styled hanging where I made sure there was no slack in my rope. I’m not that desperate yet, but it’s getting there.